My Bums Too Big

It's one of the most useless starts to any conversation (argument) you'll going to have with your loved one. It's usually after you've botched it, and she's no longer talking to you that you think: I wish it went like...

Her: My bum's too big, isn't it?

You: What do you mean?

Her: I'm not attractive with such a big bum.

You: On what basis are you judging?

Her: Basis? It's too big.

You: (sigh) Do you like women? (Nothing wrong if you're bi. I hope you'd be able to tell me, if you were.)

Her: No, of course not. You know I'm not: we've been married for years.

You: Okay. Just stay with me. So, you don't fancy women, right?

Her. (frown) That's right.

You: So the mechanism to judge if a women is attractive - the size of her bum is attractive - to a man isn't part of your makeup, in any way, right?

Her: (deeper frown) Yeah. I suppose. So?

You: Okay, so again, on what basis do you judge? You can't see the size of your bum through my appreciative eyes. And what's more, I'd bop anyone on the nose that said anything derogatory about your bum, or any other part of you, for that matter.

Her: But my bum is still too ...

You: (Bop)

Her: Ow! What was that for? (Grin)

You: (Grin) You were warned.

Lonely? A Reason For Porn

I don't know about you, but those of us who remain single need to remind ourselves that there is still beauty in the world. (Okay, okay! And the occasional endorphin rush doesn't hurt, either.) I'm not sure that the number of lonely people had diminished with the advent of the Internet, or just remained the same.

It's a sad truth that many people think that a 'friend' in a forum is something more that a superficial acquaintance, and they can never compare to a real face-to-face interactions. I have had requests, from people with whom I've never communicated, to become my friend. When I sent them a nice e-mail thanking them, and asking why, I received no reply. I think it odd that these people just collect 'friends' like this. There doesn't seem to be a point. It would be very sad if they felt the need to have even this fleeting form of communication, and their collection of 'friends' was some sort of security blanket.

Those of us that were around before the Internet, have a keen sense of distinction between an Internet 'friend' and a personal friend. Those that have grown up with the Internet sometimes have to learn this distinction the hard way.

The Internet can seem like a big club, but retain your perspective.

If you're submissive and without a partner, maybe this will cheer you up in time for the festive season?