There are all sorts of games people play. (Within a relationship.) Some are for power, some are for a new dress. My preference is always to see the daggers coming in from the front. I hate being manipulated. I know I do things to get my own way, and I always regret it after, even when I'm not caught and confronted. I guess I've never found my soul-mate.
I think this is spoken of much, and understood little. To me, a soul-mate is a person that does not manipulate, nore needs to be manipulated. They complete the other half of the couple our species is biologically designed to be. My search continues.
Another inimacy situation! The two newlyweds in this fantsy are obviouly well suited. If only all relationships were that well matched, what a lovely world it would be? But would that make us lazy? I think that compromise and sacrifice and tolerance and patience are an integral part of a loving relationship. The real world is not perfect, but with a little effort it could be rather nice. I suppose my idealist side is showing.
When you're feeling run down or tired, there's always the fantasy...
I think chastity games with dildos for the lady are very sexy. Substitution of the male member does not necessarily mean a substiute for intimacy between a loving couple. (Case in point: Edge of Vanilla, with Tom & Mrs Edge. Thank you, both.)
Where intimacy is concerned, my advice: accept no substitute.
Sometimes I think extreme chastity play fantasies are as rare as romanticism. Stereotypically guys are not known for their romantic gestures. If they do perform the occasional feat, it is occasional. It's all well and good saying that better communication is required. There's just one tiny snag: Men are from Mars, and Women are from Venus.
I friend of mine (female, but not girlfriend) game me a copy of this excellent book. We discussed some of it, but I wished we had the chance to discuss more.
It's been a while. Perhaps I should re-read it? Can't hurt, right? Especially if there's something you want your partner to do for you? Me being selfish, again! That's the beauty of a fantasy, she never gets mad at you. You might get punished, but she's never mad at you.
I've stumbled across this site before, but found myself back there, recently. I was very impressed with the advances that seem to have taken place. If I had a partner, I would be checking this out some more. As it is, I'm in lust with the Asian model on the site. In my fantasies, she can product test on me as long as she likes!
I'd like to thank Dream Lover for the quality of their images, and hope they don't object to me stealing them. Check them out at: Dream Lover.
I think the lady is as lovely as the one at Tickleberry.
When you spot a masochist, please be gentle. Well, emotionally, I mean. If you've just heard a confession, your first reaction is to flee. Don't! Think. Of course you need to look both ways, before crossing the street. (Communication is a two-way street.) Ask yourself, "what made me fall in love?" And go from there
It would definately fulfill the requirement of intimacy, but will it fulfill?
One of the things I'll never experience is what it feels like to be a woman. I must rely on second hand accounts, and my flawed interpretation of them. I would imagine that there are different temprements out there, as numerous as the stars. So is this another of my selfish fantasies?
I love pillow-talk. I think it's the sexiest thing ever. It's also so intimate that it must be the truth, even when it's fantasy. (Figure that one out!)
I've always thought that the sexiest organ is the brain. You know, the mind? I love the creative process. When these energies are channeled to turning on a partner - wow! The following fantasy is me being selfish, again.
Once you've fantasised that your keyholder has locked you up for good, what next? Is it like those old Saturday morning matinees? You know, where the hero falls off the cliff, then next week he's back on the cliff? (Cliff-hanger! d'oh.)
I suppose that's the best thing about fantasy, you never have to put it to the test.
Can't have one without the other? As Leopold once noted, "in any relationship one must be the hammer, the other the anvil".
I can't decide if the sex act itself is violent. So much poetry would have you think it's not. However, the cold hard truth of the act is: the man penetrates the lady. I knew a girl that had rape fantasies. (Perfectly valid submissive fantasies.) Sadly, I didn't know the lady long enough to find out some details - much to my regret. (I'm obviously submissive, myself, but I prefer my horizons broad.)
Just to remind you all - you remember my feelings on "Safe, sane AND Consensual"? New readers - all for it. Old readers - just checking.
Taking away someone's choice is a form of violence. Yet, it's one I (for one) crave. And paradoxically, submissive people have some of the strongest characters I've seen. I think where I'm going with this is: take another look at violence. In the right environment it can be such a positive thing. Games for lovers, etc. But never forget the violent aspect. Fire is very useful, but you wouldn't want that out of a controlled environment, would you?
I've been looking back on some of the blogs I've made. Some topics obviously come up a few times. This is not an apology. These topics are important to me, and can bear the repetition.
My love of Venus In Furs is an example. It should therefore follow that I identify with the main character. The extent, however, is much more selective. Severin likes physical and emotional torment. To me, his emotional torment is idealised into the physical. For myself, if given the choice, I would always choose a physical torment. E.g. Spanking, caning, whipping etc. I need and crave emotional stability. For me, giving my lady my pain is somehow proof of love. Pondered this a lot, but haven't the foggiest why.
It should be no surprise that I fantasise about pain as an incentive for staying locked in chastity.
There are all sorts of counsellors and therapists, from marriage to pets (of all things!). I wonder how many couples actually seek the help of a professional dominatrix to help with their bedroom games?
I suppose there'd be more help required if you found out that you were both sub?
Even though the old style underwear covers more, I still think it incredibly sexy. I suppose it transports one to a simpler time. But then one forgets all the stuff we now take for granted, like the technology that gives us this blog. I couldn't imagine how difficult it was in the 50's to meet someone with the same penchant.
Nostalgia has a habit of being rose tinted, and we easily forget the stresses of yesteryear. When people are stressed we often forget to take the time to have those moments that bring us closer together. Leave it too long and the things that should be done as a matter of course become special. Things like, doing the washing up, giving your partner a massage after a tough day, and being supportive. Our parent's generation seemed to have more time for this sort of thing. (Fewer divorces?)
Just to go back to an earlier point on this blog, The Edge of Vanilla, and others; you should be doing these things anyway, not bargaining with them.
Apart from cute oriental ladies, (you all know this already), what really sends me is giving it up for a lady that is obviously much weaker than I. I love to be 'persuaded' gently. "For me... Please?" (Melt!)
Being in a position of no choice has it's moments, but I still love the consensual from 'safe, sane and consensual' play.
We all want to afford the 'large' one; to not have any money worries. I think that the biggest cause of marital stress today is money worries. Do all those adverts actually work? Some are so banal, it does make one wonder.
Personally, I like getting the best I can afford, in the hope it will last a long time. Although, I must admit, I've yet to go shopping for a dildo. How does one approach the sales lady, and request 'the large one, please'?
I suppose, we all want to be accepted for who we are? An essential first step, I feel, is acceptance of one's self. I think too many people worry about what others think. This is not to say the sensitivities of others are to be ignored. As the saying goes, as long as you don't scare the horses, or the straights...
I saw a lovely comedy called 'Gimme, Gimme, Gimme', about a gay guy and his straight girl flatmate. He was describing another gay guy he knows, and he used the phrase, "He's so far in the closet, he's in f**kin' Narnia." Such an image!
Music to a masocist's ears! I've seen on a number of blogs, forums, and comments here the notion that bribery is the way to get yourself locked up. This is an empty notion. I mean, trying to use phrases like, I'll be more loving, I'll do more about the house, I'll never say no to giving you more oral sex, etc. It's been argued that you should be doing these things anyway; and rightly so.
Let's come back to the oral sex. Giving your loved one more endorphine highs could lead to a pattern of expectation. Don't forget, endorphines are addictive. You will certainly miss them, if you went cold turkey. (Sudden, and total chastity.) So, just what would happen if you increased your frequency of oral sex, and then suddenly stopped? Anyone feel brave enough to tease the teaser?
As a major, central part of my fantasy sits the partner in crime, so to speak. A lady willing to examine her preconceptions of a loving relationship, and acually listen, and most importantly, understand what makes her partner tick. Of course, I would make every effort in return. But then in fantasy, mi casa es su casa, or mi fantasía es su fantasía.
P.S. Did I happen to mention my adoration of oriental ladies?
You all know I'm Catholic, right? I think I've mentioned before that guilt plays a large part of my life. (Nothing to do with actual crime, you understand?) Perhaps such games are therapy, to exorcise some inner demons? I wonder how many kinky people, who just happen to have a Catholic upbringing, feel the same way?
Are you like a kid at Christmas when something you've been waiting for finally turns up in the mail? I am. I suppose we never loose our inner child. Just remember the little brat can be quite selfish at times. It's a constant battle to remain civilised.
Sometimes I just like seeing a stunning woman in my captions. This lady is a beauty. I'm also aware that inner beauty is worlds apart from cosmetic beauty. I'm not that shallow! - Or at least I hope I'm not!!
As for the other topic, here: No it will still work, no matter how long you lock it up. But never let an ugly fact come in the way of a perfectly lovely fantasy.
I've always liked comics, right from an early age. Captioned images is the adult equivalent. I find that creating these captions on images I find interesting, helps me relax. Yes, it's escapism. It seems that only a lucky few live the fantasy. I think we all want to escape to a better place, and we all have our ways of getting there.