Can't have one without the other? As Leopold once noted, "in any relationship one must be the hammer, the other the anvil".
I can't decide if the sex act itself is violent. So much poetry would have you think it's not. However, the cold hard truth of the act is: the man penetrates the lady. I knew a girl that had rape fantasies. (Perfectly valid submissive fantasies.) Sadly, I didn't know the lady long enough to find out some details - much to my regret. (I'm obviously submissive, myself, but I prefer my horizons broad.)
Just to remind you all - you remember my feelings on "Safe, sane AND Consensual"? New readers - all for it. Old readers - just checking.
Taking away someone's choice is a form of violence. Yet, it's one I (for one) crave. And paradoxically, submissive people have some of the strongest characters I've seen. I think where I'm going with this is: take another look at violence. In the right environment it can be such a positive thing. Games for lovers, etc. But never forget the violent aspect. Fire is very useful, but you wouldn't want that out of a controlled environment, would you?
4 days ago