Being Mean & Loving It

I think I'll eventually get around to reading some psycology books. Just curious as to why I tick the way I do. Or I could just stick to titles like: Bob Flanagan's Supermasochist (and the DVD Sick: The Life and Death of Bob Flanagan, Supermasochist (1997)) [I highly recommend both.]

"You alway hurt the one you love." I wonder where that saying comes from?

Admit It (At Least To Yourself)

It may sound obvious after you see it, but you have to be honest with yourself, before you can be honest with others.

I've never understood the need for people to lie to themselves. It must make for a bewildering life. Have you ever taken one of those psycometric tests? The one thing that stands out for me is that I have a very accurate self image. I suppose from this point of view, my lack of understanding about lieing to oneself is understandable?

I think we should be encouraged to be honest with ourselves. First step on the road to enlightenment, eh?

Excuse me, Miss

Can you spare a moment to answer a few questions?

What is the central theme or aspect to your biggest turn-on?

What Would It Be Like

In my fantasy world, I win the lottery each week, (2nd prize will do!). I can then get that nice little mansion, your know, with the playroom. My playmate can read my mind, and vice-versa. We can indulge ourselves in a soup of love, lust and endorphin rushes.
And then I wake up. Sigh!

Meanwhile, back at the love ranch...

Playing The Game

Always check the rules of the game. But then the best games can be added to, later.

Now, show of hands; who want to play this one?

After the Hurdle

Stopping someone having their endorphin rush is mean! It can also be the sexiest thing, ever! Having a games with two players will always create new situations within the game. That's a good thing. Don't fear new things. If it goes too far, just use your safe-word. Safe-words should work both ways. Always schedule a time-out to discuss the game.

Emotional Blackmail

I think I've mentioned this before? Never say things like, "If you love me you'd..." This line of persuasion only proves that you've no idea about your partner's feelings, and wish to side-step them.

Inevitably the question of love will be raised. It should be in the context of having had a full and frank exchange of views. But not as the final "Do this or you don't love me", argument. Your communication must be better than this. Much better!

Traditional Pleasure

When confronted with the unusual, the first reaction is denial. No, not the good denial as in 'Tease & Denial'. The denial of the existance of the feeling that denial is fun. The start point seems to be a woman pleasuring her man, by making him orgasm. How do you turn this stereotype on it's head? It's like you have to 'unlearn' to learn. Take a step back in order to take far more steps forward. Never be fearful of that backward step, it's still progress.

Clues

Words are often very poor, or poorly chosen, to coney emotion. (Just look at the mountain of liturature that attempts to describe love.) Sometimes you have to realise that it's not just Sherlock that has to be good at deductive reasoning.

Ah-ha Moments

I love moments of clarity. Communication is a gift; effective communication is a miracle. (Or so it feels, sometimes.)

In this fantasy the lovely lady is sitting through a slide show. I emphasise through. I hope any ladies that might be looking at this blog will take a hint; that patience really is a virtue. Reserve jusdgement at the end of the slide show. Please?

What's Your Fetish?

I love this kind of outfit. It covers all the wrong places. Perfect! And the potential for teasing is very high.

Although I know this this particular lady is sub, there are some pictures that are ambiguous, (like this one), where I can imagine otherwise.



I think her name is Anne. Check her out on House of Gord. I think she also has her own ponygirl site, but I can't remember it, right now.

Just When You Thought It Was Safe In The Water

I don't gamble, but this whole thing about seeing if you can get stuck in your belt is a real turn on for me. Absolutely no idea why! I think an essential part of it, though, is the co-conspirator. Just loose yourself in those eyes!

2nd B in BBW Stands For Beautiful

I think that BBWs have a hard time in our glossy magazine led over advertised consumer society. Many ancient cultures admired the fuller figure as being more attuned to nature, fertility and femaninity. Of course, today we are all aware of the health risks of being over-weight. My view is: if the lady is healthy, then there's no reason to loose weight. I just love the curves.

Flatery Will Get You Everywhere

Are there any ladies that keep their guys in chastity, because of flatery? I suppose this is another fantasy. Although, I think guys react in a similar way to nice comments. I know I do. (No, I'm not fishing. Thank you anyway.)

I think us guys don't share how we feel, enough. Go on, tell your lady. No, not in a minute. Do it now.

Your Best Idea

It's part of the fantasy, but does it have any basis in fact? Are the ladies won over by promises of bigger and better orgasms?

I suppose if you look long enough, you could find an example of almost anything. I'm sure there are many motivations for the games ladies willingly play. Do any guys know what they are? We guys do have a reputation of not asking, and even when we're told, not understanding. If there are any ladies reading this blog, would you care to share? Just so we guys have it written down somewhere, you understand. :-))

Master of My Own Demise

I love the fact that it's us guys that can be the instrument of our own demise. And our special lady not only supports this, but makes sure it happens.



P.S. Have I mentioned how much I like oriental ladies? Inscrutable!

Fixing Images

I like altering images to make them more chastity related. Everyone needs a hobby, right? Besides, the thought of this young lady actually wanting to upgrade to a chastity belt with an attached dildo, for her pleasure - wow. (Tom, this is all your fault!)

Mixed Messages

Once you've confessed, and to your utter joy your partner has agreed to give it a go, slow down. It's very difficult to imagine what it was like for you at the beginning, when you first discovered chastity play. It's also very difficult for you to put a time estimate on all the research (yes, I mean porn surfing!) you've done. So don't blow it by trying to give her all the information at once. All you'll end up with is a good impersonation of someone drunk, with their head spinning, and none of the usual fun associated with social drinking.

What may be clear in your head, may be a mixed message in her's. My advice: break it down into points. Once you've given over a few points, ask questions. Don't treat her like an idiot. There is a world of differnce between ignorance and stupidity. To quote Mr Spock, "For everything there is a first time."

Testing, Testing, 1 - 2 - 3

In D/s play it's always a good idea to ask if everythink is still okay. But this can be done as part of the game, so as not to destroy the mood.



Safe, sane and consensual.

Gambling

I learnt a long time ago that the only sure way to get money out of a bookmaker was to work for one. I don't gamble. However, there are other uses for games of chance. (And in my view, you would still get the adrenaline rush when playing. Cheaper, too!)

All's Fair In Chastity And War

Those of you following this blog will be aware of my love of honesty. So this next fantasy may seem like a departure. This also comes under the heading: careful what you wish for...





However, I do also see a time when she confesses. After all, they are always in love, in my fantasies. How would you react?

How It Starts

Is it cowardly to arrange for her to discover your proclivities? Well, I think yes. But then, acceptance makes for a lovely fantasy.