Meeting My Soul-Mate

So... the title... Obsessive. Is my soul-mate also going to be obsessive? Now there's a thought. Something to look forward to?

Tempting

So, imagine... You've just persuaded your loved one to lock you up in a chastity device. She understands that keeping you chaste for more than a week is part of the game. However, after a few days...



What would happen next?

Courage And It's Rewards

How would you react, if your loved one told you a favourite fantasy? Would you reward their courage?

All too often, I think, we keep secrets from the very person we shouldn't. I also think that being more receptive and approachable will make us a better person. How good do you think you are?

If I Like This, I'll Do That

All games have a negociated set of rules. Fair exchange is no robbery, right?

Games People Play

There are all sorts of games people play. (Within a relationship.) Some are for power, some are for a new dress. My preference is always to see the daggers coming in from the front. I hate being manipulated. I know I do things to get my own way, and I always regret it after, even when I'm not caught and confronted. I guess I've never found my soul-mate.

I think this is spoken of much, and understood little. To me, a soul-mate is a person that does not manipulate, nore needs to be manipulated. They complete the other half of the couple our species is biologically designed to be. My search continues.

Until then, let the games play on...

Strange And Unusual

Another inimacy situation! The two newlyweds in this fantsy are obviouly well suited. If only all relationships were that well matched, what a lovely world it would be? But would that make us lazy? I think that compromise and sacrifice and tolerance and patience are an integral part of a loving relationship. The real world is not perfect, but with a little effort it could be rather nice. I suppose my idealist side is showing.

When you're feeling run down or tired, there's always the fantasy...

Accept No Substitute

I think chastity games with dildos for the lady are very sexy. Substitution of the male member does not necessarily mean a substiute for intimacy between a loving couple. (Case in point: Edge of Vanilla, with Tom & Mrs Edge. Thank you, both.)

Where intimacy is concerned, my advice: accept no substitute.

How Chaste Is Chaste?

If you are to become chaste, you know, locked in a chastity belt and denied sex, then how much of sex is denied? Everything? That is, apart from the obvious. No kissing, no touching, no nudity?

As a fantasy, I think this is hot. In reality, this is a recepie for loosing the very thing that should bind a loving couple together. As an empty threat, however... Again, now we're talking.

Romantic Extremes

Sometimes I think extreme chastity play fantasies are as rare as romanticism. Stereotypically guys are not known for their romantic gestures. If they do perform the occasional feat, it is occasional. It's all well and good saying that better communication is required. There's just one tiny snag: Men are from Mars, and Women are from Venus.

I friend of mine (female, but not girlfriend) game me a copy of this excellent book. We discussed some of it, but I wished we had the chance to discuss more.

It's been a while. Perhaps I should re-read it? Can't hurt, right? Especially if there's something you want your partner to do for you? Me being selfish, again! That's the beauty of a fantasy, she never gets mad at you. You might get punished, but she's never mad at you.

Dream Lover

I've stumbled across this site before, but found myself back there, recently. I was very impressed with the advances that seem to have taken place. If I had a partner, I would be checking this out some more. As it is, I'm in lust with the Asian model on the site. In my fantasies, she can product test on me as long as she likes!











I'd like to thank Dream Lover for the quality of their images, and hope they don't object to me stealing them. Check them out at: Dream Lover.

I think the lady is as lovely as the one at Tickleberry.

Taking Charge

When you finally get someone to help you live the fantasy, don't spoil it by 'topping from the bottom'.

I think this is one of those topics that I've repeated.

Sometimes it's good to be surprised. Wait and see. You never know, she might come up with something better than you did!

Spotting A Masochist

When you spot a masochist, please be gentle. Well, emotionally, I mean. If you've just heard a confession, your first reaction is to flee. Don't! Think. Of course you need to look both ways, before crossing the street. (Communication is a two-way street.) Ask yourself, "what made me fall in love?" And go from there

Oral Sex And Chastity

It would definately fulfill the requirement of intimacy, but will it fulfill?

One of the things I'll never experience is what it feels like to be a woman. I must rely on second hand accounts, and my flawed interpretation of them. I would imagine that there are different temprements out there, as numerous as the stars. So is this another of my selfish fantasies?

She Knows Just What To Say

I love pillow-talk. I think it's the sexiest thing ever. It's also so intimate that it must be the truth, even when it's fantasy. (Figure that one out!)

I've always thought that the sexiest organ is the brain. You know, the mind? I love the creative process. When these energies are channeled to turning on a partner - wow! The following fantasy is me being selfish, again.

How Permanent Is Permanent?

Once you've fantasised that your keyholder has locked you up for good, what next? Is it like those old Saturday morning matinees? You know, where the hero falls off the cliff, then next week he's back on the cliff? (Cliff-hanger! d'oh.)

I suppose that's the best thing about fantasy, you never have to put it to the test.

Out And Out Fantasy

Oh, miricles we do all the time, it's the impossible that takes a little longer.

You know it's a complete fantasy that you'll find a chastity belt that you can wear forever, straight out of the box, right? I like impossible fantasies.

If you had a real live Barbra Eden, what would you wish? (In conrext, of course.)

Sex And Violence

Can't have one without the other? As Leopold once noted, "in any relationship one must be the hammer, the other the anvil".

I can't decide if the sex act itself is violent. So much poetry would have you think it's not. However, the cold hard truth of the act is: the man penetrates the lady. I knew a girl that had rape fantasies. (Perfectly valid submissive fantasies.) Sadly, I didn't know the lady long enough to find out some details - much to my regret. (I'm obviously submissive, myself, but I prefer my horizons broad.)

Just to remind you all - you remember my feelings on "Safe, sane AND Consensual"? New readers - all for it. Old readers - just checking.

Taking away someone's choice is a form of violence. Yet, it's one I (for one) crave. And paradoxically, submissive people have some of the strongest characters I've seen. I think where I'm going with this is: take another look at violence. In the right environment it can be such a positive thing. Games for lovers, etc. But never forget the violent aspect. Fire is very useful, but you wouldn't want that out of a controlled environment, would you?

Getting Harder And Harder

I've been looking back on some of the blogs I've made. Some topics obviously come up a few times. This is not an apology. These topics are important to me, and can bear the repetition.

My love of Venus In Furs is an example. It should therefore follow that I identify with the main character. The extent, however, is much more selective. Severin likes physical and emotional torment. To me, his emotional torment is idealised into the physical. For myself, if given the choice, I would always choose a physical torment. E.g. Spanking, caning, whipping etc. I need and crave emotional stability. For me, giving my lady my pain is somehow proof of love. Pondered this a lot, but haven't the foggiest why.

It should be no surprise that I fantasise about pain as an incentive for staying locked in chastity.

Home Help

How many of you call out for 'take-away' orders. If only getting a keyholder was just as simple. Or how about a maintanence contract, like heating maintanence?

(Have I mentioned my fondness for oriental ladies, recently? You've noticed the word 'Obsessive', at the top of the page, right?)



To set up such a contract, you could always go to the showroom, first.

Don't forget, ask lots of questions, first. Don't pick the first one you see. Read the reviews. Take your time. Enjoy the decision-making process.

Professional Help

There are all sorts of counsellors and therapists, from marriage to pets (of all things!). I wonder how many couples actually seek the help of a professional dominatrix to help with their bedroom games?



I suppose there'd be more help required if you found out that you were both sub?

The Old Ones Are Best

Even though the old style underwear covers more, I still think it incredibly sexy. I suppose it transports one to a simpler time. But then one forgets all the stuff we now take for granted, like the technology that gives us this blog. I couldn't imagine how difficult it was in the 50's to meet someone with the same penchant.

Nostalgia has a habit of being rose tinted, and we easily forget the stresses of yesteryear. When people are stressed we often forget to take the time to have those moments that bring us closer together. Leave it too long and the things that should be done as a matter of course become special. Things like, doing the washing up, giving your partner a massage after a tough day, and being supportive. Our parent's generation seemed to have more time for this sort of thing. (Fewer divorces?)

Just to go back to an earlier point on this blog, The Edge of Vanilla, and others; you should be doing these things anyway, not bargaining with them.

Rewards

I've never met a lady yet that didn't apreciate a gift of clothes. Some gifts are more for the observer, though. Still, it's nice to get one's reward...

The Weaker Sex

Apart from cute oriental ladies, (you all know this already), what really sends me is giving it up for a lady that is obviously much weaker than I. I love to be 'persuaded' gently. "For me... Please?" (Melt!)

Being in a position of no choice has it's moments, but I still love the consensual from 'safe, sane and consensual' play.

(Sorry, Tom. Another Club gig.)

Search Me

Have you ever gone away on holiday, and left the keys at home?

Just fantasy, this one. I think this is a silly thing to do for real. You can never anticipate emergencies. You could bring the key in a sealed container, and promise each other not to brake the seal.

Where Nobody KnowsYour Name

Do you let yourself go a bit, when you're away from it all? Do the games get more inventive?

I like the idea that a partner would play, and even make suggestions. Luguage locks are just the right size.

Another Day At The Gym

A proper tease themed hotel would have a proper gym. And the lovely trainer! What would you do to impress her?

Personnally I find gyms nothing but well decorated torture chambers. However, if the guards looked like this lady, I think I'd make an effort.

Fishing, Not Catching

I like the idea of a themed holiday resort, where all the guys must be in a chastity belt. Of course, all the lady members of staff are 'drop-dead' gorgeous.

I love the notion that fishing is relaxing, although I've never been. I don't think I'd want to catch anything, though. That wouldn't be relaxing. Better just to go fishing, and not catching.

I'll Take The Large One

We all want to afford the 'large' one; to not have any money worries. I think that the biggest cause of marital stress today is money worries. Do all those adverts actually work? Some are so banal, it does make one wonder.

Personally, I like getting the best I can afford, in the hope it will last a long time. Although, I must admit, I've yet to go shopping for a dildo. How does one approach the sales lady, and request 'the large one, please'?

Acceptance

I suppose, we all want to be accepted for who we are? An essential first step, I feel, is acceptance of one's self. I think too many people worry about what others think. This is not to say the sensitivities of others are to be ignored. As the saying goes, as long as you don't scare the horses, or the straights...

I saw a lovely comedy called 'Gimme, Gimme, Gimme', about a gay guy and his straight girl flatmate. He was describing another gay guy he knows, and he used the phrase, "He's so far in the closet, he's in f**kin' Narnia." Such an image!

Do kinky people also have these closets?

No Good Deed Should Go Unpunished

Music to a masocist's ears! I've seen on a number of blogs, forums, and comments here the notion that bribery is the way to get yourself locked up. This is an empty notion. I mean, trying to use phrases like, I'll be more loving, I'll do more about the house, I'll never say no to giving you more oral sex, etc. It's been argued that you should be doing these things anyway; and rightly so.

Let's come back to the oral sex. Giving your loved one more endorphine highs could lead to a pattern of expectation. Don't forget, endorphines are addictive. You will certainly miss them, if you went cold turkey. (Sudden, and total chastity.) So, just what would happen if you increased your frequency of oral sex, and then suddenly stopped? Anyone feel brave enough to tease the teaser?

Through The Fantasy, & Out The Other Side

As a major, central part of my fantasy sits the partner in crime, so to speak. A lady willing to examine her preconceptions of a loving relationship, and acually listen, and most importantly, understand what makes her partner tick. Of course, I would make every effort in return. But then in fantasy, mi casa es su casa, or mi fantasía es su fantasía.



P.S. Did I happen to mention my adoration of oriental ladies?

Games On The Edge

You all know I'm Catholic, right? I think I've mentioned before that guilt plays a large part of my life. (Nothing to do with actual crime, you understand?) Perhaps such games are therapy, to exorcise some inner demons? I wonder how many kinky people, who just happen to have a Catholic upbringing, feel the same way?

So Close, Yet So Far

I think an essential part of the tease, for me, is the notion that the goodies are so close, yet so far. Outfits that are really no good at covering or protecting the lady's modesty are the best.

Special Delivery

Are you like a kid at Christmas when something you've been waiting for finally turns up in the mail? I am. I suppose we never loose our inner child. Just remember the little brat can be quite selfish at times. It's a constant battle to remain civilised.

Start At the Bottom

Just a quick question. How many of you start at the bottom of the page?

Just wondered.

Those Eyes

Sometimes I just like seeing a stunning woman in my captions. This lady is a beauty. I'm also aware that inner beauty is worlds apart from cosmetic beauty. I'm not that shallow! - Or at least I hope I'm not!!

As for the other topic, here: No it will still work, no matter how long you lock it up. But never let an ugly fact come in the way of a perfectly lovely fantasy.